Our Boy: The Kindergartener

I've dreaded the day for five short years.  Or maybe even longer, seeing as I taught school and watched other parents go through this motion.  But alas our time had come and our oldest started school.

If you ask anyone who knows me well, they would likely tell you that I was full of emotion in the weeks leading up to kindergarten.  It is a big deal.  In a small sort of life altering way, at least.

And though I was excited for our boy who was giddy about the transition, I needed some time to fall into the role of mom and express my thoughts through tears.

But the day did come. And it went.

After I dropped Noah off I found myself feeling overwhelmed with peace and joy just knowing that "this is right."  The change of pace and challenge seemed so fitting- for all of us.  And Noah loved it!

Now, one week and a few days into school and this is our established routine.  We've had fun having lunch with him in the cafeteria, riding bikes to school, talking about the days adventures, and receiving phone calls stating how great he is.  All in all, kindergarten is not so bad.  And by not so bad, I mean it's really great!  Today was the first day he woke up saying that he really didn't want to go to school again.  Eight days in... that's good, right?  And I'll even admit that being somewhere at 8am is not so bad, either.  Jesus has definitely been gracious to this aching heart.  He knows, too, what it is like to let a son go.

It's a joy to watch my children grow and change and mature and follow the course of development.  And now that we've gone over the tiny hump we call school, I feel confident that we can face what is to come!

8.20

8.20.81: Some time before I was even an embryo, a not-so-tiny baby boy was born to two young parents.  He grew up in a lovely home with the same hopes most all boys have.  He was rough and tough and happy and easy-going.  He ventured through school and made memories on the playground.  He was a  fun-spirited child who loved being outdoors. He was giving by nature, rarely got upset, and was a peacemaker among family and friends.  He had a calic, too. He was popular and athletic and grew into a handsome young lad.

Or so I'm told.

I didn't know this little boy until much later, but oh, how he changed my life.  He came into my tiny world and made it feel larger than ever before.  And at the time I met him, I could only dream of the lucky girl who would one day be his wife.  I never dreamt that God had something so grand for me, that I would be that girl.

8.20.11: A not-so-young man enters the world of 30.  He lives in a happy home with two parents.  Only this time... he is the parent.  The parent of three wee lads.  He has dreams that are bigger than most.  He dreams of ministering to the broken and seeing people changed by grace.  He is rough and tough and happy and easy-going.  He ventures through work making memories in staff meetings.  He is fun-spirited and loves to be outdoors.  He is giving by nature, rarely gets upset, and is a peacemaker among family and friends. He still has a calic, too.  He is not only liked by all, but loved by many and athletic and a handsome middle-aged lad.

Or so I say.

And he is so much more.  He is the man who calls righteousness up in me.  He is the one who leads our family in prayer and the one who makes us laugh.  He is the guy who will talk to me for hours upon end and still listen to me as though I am fascinating.  He makes me feel beautiful and loved and safe and happy.  He is boldness tempered with grace.

He is my husband and I couldn't be more proud to say that I am in love with Brad Ingram, age 30.

Happy late birthday to my guy.  I adore you!

forever.

The Filter

I'm really thankful right now for something the Lord began to show me some time ago.  And that's just the way of the Lord.  He's tender to our hearts even before we know we need his tenderness.  He often teaches me things or prepares me in ways I couldn't conjure to know I need preparing.  

The comfort I'm finding right now is in knowing that I am not my childrens filter. 

I want desperately to guard their ears.  Their minds.  Their eyes.  Their bodies.  

If it were up to me, they would not be apart of anything that wasn't true or noble or right or pure or lovely or excellent or praiseworthy or... well, you get it.  I would shelter them in a bubble.  

But I can't.  

And I don't.  

It's impossible.

And even if I tried, I would fail. 

Because of that, I find comfort in knowing that I don't have to be the filter through which everything is censored when it comes to my children.  I can trust the Lord for that.  He is the one who created their eyes, minds, bodies, ears and all of those sweet little things that I want to protect.  And heaven knows that he wants them guarded.  

So as I release my eldest into the big, open sea that is kindergarten, I find myself falling onto the soft sand that is Jesus.  I trust the Lord with Noah.  After all, He made him. And I can trust that though friends may not prove to be friends, and inappropriate phrases will be said, and other children won't treat their siblings with the love that we expect in our home, and the voice of the world will become even louder around Noah... that the Lord can filter what he hears, feels, understands, and sees.  He is a better filter than I could ever be, even on my most protective days. 

My prayers have turned to sound like this, "Lord, guard my children's eyes and minds and bodies and hearts and emotions.  Don't let them hear what is being said.  Let them hear you.  Keep their eyes from noticing things aside from your splendor...."

And as we do walk this road, we will have even more chances to talk with our children about our need for a Savior.  Because if there is only one thing that my children should see, it isn't that they are designed for perfection or goodness... they are designed to need a Rescuer.  A Savior.  And they are learning that our Savior isn't an idea or a theory.  He is an intimate knitter.  And a great filter!