Compelling Grace

I must have been six... maybe seven.  A first grader, I know.  My parents gained income after moving to a new, big city by my mother providing care for the children of a family transferred with us.  I wanted to that baby to want me.  To need me.  I wanted someone to need me because I felt so lost in that season.  I distinctly remember walking into the room where she had been asleep in a play pen (because things were not so fancy at that time for the name Pack-n-Play to have been coined.  It was simply, play pen.), but she was now awake.  I reached my hands, that I thought had much more age and authority than in actuality, out to her wanting her to reach back for me, but she didn't.  The baby didn't need me.  And she definitely didn't want me.  But I longed for that. So I sinned. I did something I knew was wrong.  I reached and pinched the baby.  I hurt her with the sole purpose of comforting her.  She began to cry, as I knew she would.  But this time when I extended my arms, she reached back.  Just as I needed her to.  I became the baby's comfort.


This morning, I watched my youngest point to drops of water that had spilled from her cup onto the ottoman.  I took her to the kitchen, gave her a rag and led her back to the spill.  She used the rag to wipe up the mess.  She made the mess disappear.  And so she repeated it.  Only this time, not an accident.  She poured the water, one drip at a time with purpose.  To clean it.  To make it right.  Pure.  She knew she shouldn't, but she, already, likes the role of making things right.  Being the rescuer.

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.


What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness. I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 


The concept makes sense to our feeble minds.  God offers grace.  Grace is good.  But it is not a token for sin.  It is an extension of his love.  Of his kindness.  Of his son. 
But do we live as though this truth resonates deeply within us?


We make choices, as believers in the truth of Jesus Christ, knowing, subconsciously, that grace will be extended.  At that point, we miss it.  The goal of grace.  The purpose of his extension of goodness to our hearts.  His grace should compel us.  


If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 


His grace, lovely and unable to match with words, compels us to want to be more... more like Him.  The giver of all things good.  The one who graciously carved us out of nothing, to make us heirs.  


It's fair for me to know that if I accept his grace, it I stay as I am, if I continue in a life of sin, a life of anything less than learning daily to be like Him, maybe I don't understand grace. Or grace in it's fullness. 


For the love of Christ is enough to compel me to love the most unloveable.  And the grace of Christ is enough to drive me further and further from the me of old and closer and closer to the new of Him, to wisdom and purity and goodness that can fill my heart through Christ alone.  


So I ask myself this morning, am I pinching?  Am I spilling?  All with a need.  The need to comfort.  The need to clean and purify and rescue.  Because even if I do good things, without the forethought of Christ they are just that... good things.  But if I walk in a state of acknowledgment of his grace extended to me and it compels me to extend anything lovely to others, then that, is grace understood.  Grace lived.  Further from the things of old. Old me. Old ways. Old patterns. Old tendencies.  And closer to the things of new.  New love. New compassion.  New mercy.  New grace.  New beauty.  Christ. 


The one who makes all things new. 


  “From now on I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you. They are created now, and not long ago; you have not heard of them before today. So you cannot say, ‘Yes, I knew of them.’ You have neither heard nor understood; from of old your ears have not been open. Well do I know how treacherous you are; you were called a rebel from birth. For my own name’s sake I delay my wrath; for the sake of my praise I hold it back from you, so as not to destroy you completely. See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another.


As I love my husband, if I do it for his returned love, I fail.  I love him as I have been loved by Christ and I hope to extend the same manor of grace to him.  If I comfort and encourage my children for the goal of self-confident children, I fail.  I comfort and encourage them because of the comfort and encouragement that I have received from Christ and I want to extend the same grace to them. If I welcome my family into my home because I want them to be impressed anything I offer, I fail.  I welcome people into my home because I have been welcomed into a kingdom that doesn't parish, spoil, or fade and I was adopted into that kingdom, not a natural born child... so I want to extend that same loving, gracious welcome. If I enjoy my friends because I want to keep them, I fail.  I enjoy them because God has offered enjoyment, satisfaction through him alone and I want to extend that same grace.  


With a heart purposely set on acknowledging the ongoing gift of grace, I hope that the Lord allows me to walk in a state of grace.  


Offering only what he has already offered.  


Nothing thought up. 
Nothing of me.  


Only of him. 


For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.


Grace accepted and understood compels us. 
Compelling grace. 

A Tiny Nutshell

I don't really even know where to begin with over two months since my last entry.  Brad encouraged me to blog a few days ago and until he mentioned it, I forgot all about this little site.  Funny enough though, as soon as he said it I realized how much I've missed writing these simple entries.  I've said it once, but I'll say it again... this is a sweet, sweet outlet for my mind.

The beginning of April I started working part time.  Without going into too much detail, the Lord lovingly crafted a job perfectly sized for me.  I am working two days a week at a Christian, infant adoption agency.  It's a lovely schedule for my family, as my children all attend MDO while I work.  It is pure ministry and a sweet, sweet place to spend several hours of my week. I've already been blessed beyond measure by the relationships that I have formed there.  Each Tuesday and Thursday I look forward to going!  Plus I surprisingly enjoy waking up early, showering before lunch and wearing pretty clothes two days a week.  Not to mention, I've been able to dust off a few pairs of heels that I've missed slipping my feet into.  I'm grateful.

Motherhood is more full time than ever before.  And it has been full time from the beginning.  With a smart five year old who will be starting kindergarten in the fall, a quickly maturing middle beauty who is my side-kick from waking till sleeping, and an eighteen month old that keeps me on my toes and never settle for less than what she wants at the moment, life is blissful.  And when I say blissful, I don't mean it in the relaxed sense of the word.  But I do mean it in the most thankful sense of the word.  Jesus continues to prune and pluck my heart and selfishness on a daily basis.  I'm a purely simple lovely mess. And more grateful for grace than ever.

Our summer has been filled with late afternoons at the pool, mornings on the trampoline, lunches in the kitchen with Daddy, and late nights around the chiminea with my guy.

And that my friends is two months and three days in the Ingram household in a nutshell.  A very, very condensed nutshell.

Blame It on the Sun

I've been a bad blogger.   I blame it on summertime.  And the pool.  And sunshine.  And green grass.  All of it draws me away from the inside.  And for that, I do not apologize.  It's better to live than to blog.

We have had such a fun summer.

As I am sure I have mentioned several times, Brad stepped out of a high school ministry roll some time ago.  ~Gosh, has it already almost been a year? Wow.~

Anyway... this college/young adult thing has really given us a summer.  A real summer with a Daddy around everyday.  We like it.

We pool-it-up as much as we can.  The last week has been a bit cool and rainy so it has given me a chance to stay home and work on a few projects.  Kayter-Bug's room survived it's big girl make over. She has a queen sized bed that enticed her and her older brother for one full week.  Then Noah Bear got bunk beds so the bunk-beds enticed them for five full days.  Now, they switch back and forth so not to show any favoritism to one particular sleeping space.

It has been fun changing things up in their little living quarters.  They are happy, therefore, I am happy.

I will show you pictures soon because you care.  Yes, you do.  So stick around because at the rate that I am going, that will come sometime around mid-September.  At least it will be before Christmas cards go out.  Speaking of Christmas, it has consumed the shelves of Hobby Lobby.  This rushing-into-the-next-season-or-holiday-or-weekend thing has taken people over.  It really bothers me.  I know it shouldn't, but it does.  Why do we rush our lives away?  Can't we all see that it is going so fast?  My boy will start kindergarten next year for crying out loud (literally).  Let's slow down.  When it is Monday, we anticipate Friday.  Why can't we just enjoy Monday?  And Tuesday.  And Wednesday.  And Thursday.  Because Friday will roll around quickly.  It always does.

For now, I will enjoy summer.  Not buy decor for Christmas. Come one, Hobby Lobby.  Help a sister out.  Bring the beach balls back!

p.s. This is one of those times when I, obviously, got carried away with fragments and beginning sentences with conjunctions. Just go with it, okay? :)

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda & A Recipe

Remember the cough that I told you about? As it turns out, I have bronchitis. And strep. And pleurisy.  If you've not ever been visited by the little ailment referred to as pleurisy, then just continue reading.  If you have had pleurisy, thank you for the little grimace you gave when reading this.  Ouch.

I assumed that I probably had bronchitis.  According to WebMD, bronchitis usually runs its course and then passes on without medical intervention.  I am a problem solver.  It must be in my DNA.  My cerebrum functions much more like a male's, I'm sure. I think that is why I liked research papers... I get an adrenaline rush from researching.  Thus, my love for WebMD.  I can self-diagnose.  I must be a doctors worst nightmare.  But back to the point; I thought my cough would run its course.  But it lingered.  And didn't get any better.  In fact, it got worse.  So our household went to the doctor.  My older two have strep also and my hubby was given an antibiotic too.

Because of all of this, we didn't go to small group last night and it was the perfect evening to stay home and play outside.  It. Was. Gorgeous.  We enjoyed some playful family time.  One of our neighbors and her sweet daughter also walked down to meet us.  They were great and I was so excited to meet some of the people who live around us.

For dinner last night, we had shrimp which Noah calls shramp.  There is no cute story with this, it's just funny when he says it.  He sounds like he has an odd accent.

Speaking of dinners, the Southern Living flop recipe was a lemonade cake.  I don't have the recipe on hand, but who would want a bad recipe anyway?  In defense of the cake, we had to make a slight ingredient alteration because the grocery store near by did not carry exactly what we were looking for.  I really think that if we had not done so, it would have been much better.  It wasn't gross, just tart.  REALLY TART. TOO TART.  So if you have a great lemonade cake recipe, you should share it and help the cake redeem itself.  Because every cake deserves a good redemption story. Right?

The recipe that we liked was a Chicken & Bow Tie Pasta. It was easy and yummy.  Two words that make my heart leap.

Chicken and Bow Tie Pasta

Ingredients

• 1  quart water
• 4  skinned and boned chicken breasts, cut into bite-size pieces
• 8  ounces  uncooked bow tie pasta
• 1  cup  chicken broth
• 1  celery rib, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
• 1  small onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
• 1  (10 3/4-ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
• 1  (8-ounce) package pasteurized prepared cheese product, cubed
• Garnish: chopped fresh parsley

Preparation

Bring 1 quart salted water to a boil in a Dutch oven. Add chicken, and cook 12 minutes or until done. Remove chicken from water with a slotted spoon. Add pasta to water in Dutch oven, and cook 10 minutes or until tender; drain. Keep warm.

Heat 1/4 cup broth over medium-high heat in a Dutch oven; add celery and onion, and cook 5 minutes or until tender. Stir in chicken, soup, cheese, and remaining 3/4 cup chicken broth, stirring until cheese is melted. Toss with pasta; garnish, if desired. Serve immediately.

All of the dutch oven stuff is nonsense to me, just cook chicken and add it. It kind of has a chicken spaghetti taste, but was much easier and I prefer the bow tie pasta over spaghetti noodles.

It was really good and would be a great meal to take to a friend who has had a baby or surgery or just to show your love.  We were cooking for a group so we doubled the recipe and it made a heaping amount. So it would also be a good recipe to use when cooking for a large group.

My family loves pasta.  In fact, we had a different pasta dish for lunch today my grandma asked Kayt if she liked pasta and she said, "Yeah. It's my favorite!"  with her little head cocked to the side like she does when she talks.  It's pretty cute.  And she is pretty funny.

I'm Seeing White

It snowed last night. Again.

Sheesh, the snow keeps coming and coming. I actually enjoy the snow so I'm not complaining, but my little go-getters just don't really understand all of our time indoors lately. Kayt is determined that if we really wanted to, we could go to the park. At least for a little bit. Yesterday as I was changing a diaper and I heard a noise coming from the garage, the poor things were trying to ride their Jeep cars in the garage and they said they were pretending they were outside. They are desperate.

I've given up on keeping the house clean. I know that by the time I turn around my cleaned attempts will be undone. So, I've just let it be until we can have a playground other than the living room.

Cleaning house while kids are growing

is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing.

The relevance of this is apparent both inside and outside of my windows right now.

This is the view out of our window.

I will save myself some embarrassment and let you use your imaginations on what it looks like inside of our window.

Blah-g Week

Lame. I know. 

I have been busy cleaning the house to be shown. I remember from our last house how much work it is having a house on the market, but having two children whose biggest talent is making messes makes this even harder.  I've started telling Noah that people are coming to look to see how clean our house is and that they are going to be looking at his room as well. I'm not sure how much it's helped, but... hey. 

Today we were at Target and Noah made a scene. When we walked by the bras he yelled, HEY MOM,  THOSE ARE DA FANGS THAT WE PUT OUR BOOBS IN! And then he whipped his shirt off and started demonstrating how to use a bra. I couldn't stop him fast enough, he had a crowd of people laughing. Boys (sigh).

Jennifer emailed me and let me in on a huge story that I somehow missed. All this time, I was thinking that I was no mother of the year, yet I was so wrong. Ha! Check this out. It's pretty funny. 

Tomorrow is our anniversary! From what I've been told, we have a fun afternoon planned. I'm excited!!! Brad and I have been married for four years. We dated for six years before we got married and so I feel like we have been together for so long. We have. I can hardly remember life without him. awwww.

Has anyone date longer than six years? It's not for everyone, but it worked well for us. How long did you and your husband date before marrying? Let's see who the earns the shortest and longest dating award...

He interrupted my crying...

We had our hot water heater replaced today due to a leak. I am sure you can imagine the scene with two sick children, a house that was minutes away from being shown to a prospective buyer and a  garage that was a wreck with men working to replace our hot water heater and drilling holes in our brick. Don't ask. Just picture chaos. 

We fumbled out the door to feed our lil' ones dinner and get to small group on time. 

Hours later after small group, we pulled into our garage and were overcome by the smell of natural gas. Brad called the 24 phone number and they dispatched someone to our house.

At 11:00 pm, a man named Dennis rang the doorbell. Not once, but twice. Whattha? Then he proceeded to stomp through the house and he was not talking in his inside voice. 

Now don't get me wrong, Dennis is my hero because he solved the problem so that we would not die of toxic fumes and he took care of a second problem of low water pressure that we had just discovered, but my guess is that Dennis DOES NOT have children. 

What is yours?

When Dennis came I was sitting on the couch crying about India. Yes, India. Sometimes it still overwhelms me. But I will have to get to that post on another day because Dennis made me loose my train of though. 

Dennis, my hero, the man without children, who interrupted my crying. 

Just Some Stuff

Thank you to everyone who left a recipe for the swap. On my computer, I cannot see the Mr. Linky. Can you? I was able to see it when using my in-law's computer and had no idea that it actually appeared. I was just curious if it was only me, or if other people couldn't see it.

 I have tried a couple of the recipes posted and hope to try the rest in weeks to come. The Wilsons came over for dinner last week and I made the crock pot green beans from Amy and the blueberry dessert from Amber to go along with our pork chops and rice. I wanted to try one of the pork recipes, but needed something I could pop into the oven and let bake while I did other things. Both recipes that I tried were great and my kids ate platefuls of the beans; easy and tasty. The dessert was delicious. I topped it with crushed pretzels instead of pecans because Noah is allergic to nuts. It reminded me of a Jello pretzel dessert that my mom used to make, so I opted for pretzels. 

It's a low key week of sickness at our house. Moms, you know how sad it is to see your babies not feeling well, but I am enjoying the extra moments of loving and cuddling. Noah amazes me with his sweet spirit and optimism during the midst of feeling terrible. I love witnessing the personality and spirit God has put into my children come to life. It is a really fun thing to watch develop. Kayt is as lively as sunshine and I look forward to hearing her contagious giggle everyday. She is talking so much and it makes me laugh to hear her say so many words so clearly. Yesterday, while we were waiting for the our sweet doctor to come into the room, Kayt kept repeating baby. diaper. baby. diaper. I wasn't sure what she was talking about so I just let her babble. Then, above my head I realized that there was a poster of four babies  in their diapers. I think she is going to be a talker like her momma. :)

We canceled every single thing on our calendar this week and are just staying at home to recover (and not spread the flu to anyone else) and to be honest, I have enjoyed our week of hibernation.

I Pick the Bird

This is my team of choice.

I am a Cardinals fan. 

Actually, I am a Kurt Warner fan. Therefore, I am a Cardinals fan.

I'm not sure that they will win, but this is who I am cheering for. 

Who is your pick?

Steelers? Cardinals?

Neither?

Would you rather watch HGTV? 

Snippets

A run-down of my thoughts and my life....

~I have not blogged because I just have not been up to it. This is a very busy time of year. I had actually decided I would take a break until after the first of the year but then, well...I don't know. I still might. I guess I will leave you on your toes. 

~We have all of our Christmas decor out, but our stockings have not arrived yet. I have my snowflake card holder hanging on the wall. Every time I walk by it, I wonder who we will receive our first Christmas card from this year. 

~I am still unsure of what I want for Christmas this year. I am thinking a new slow cooker and possibly a new ceiling fan for our room, but those are so boring. I guess this is what happens as you get older, hugh?

~Noah has broken five ornaments, Kayt has broken one. You would think that I would have learned by now. 

~I bought really pretty initial ornaments this year. I decided to hang them on a big mirror in our living room. As I was hanging them, I remembered that our initials (Brad, Ashley, Noah, Kayt) spell BANK. When Brad saw what I had done, he stared at it with the most perplexed look. He said, "BANK? I....don't get it."  It is kind of funny to see everyone's reaction upon seeing the word BANK spelled out in silver initials. 

~Last night I had coffee with Megan and Sarah. The barista at Starbucks turned the lights off while we were still deep in conversation. I guess they did not realize that I only see my friend twice a year. 

~Speaking of coffee shops, I was at another coffee shop today and noticed that they will be opening at 3am on Friday for the early morning shoppers. On Thanksgiving, I will be so thankful that I don't work there.

~I had a really bad headache today so I proceeded to take allergy/sinus medication. It was non-drowsy, but it made so sleepy. I had to put Kayt in her crib to play and let Noah watch Barney, because I could feel myself falling asleep while standing. I don't think I was out long, but I woke up to Noah grabbing my face between his two little hands, telling me "Baw-ney is OOOBBBEEERRR! Mom, I've been telling you dat." 

~I have never done the day-after-Thanksgiving-shopping thing before. I am not much of a shopper. For those of you who have, I am genuinely curious if snagging the early morning deals are worth it? I would love to know if it would be worth my sleep for me to fight the early morning (probably crabby) shoppers this year. If you are convincing enough, I just might consider it. Maybe. I seem to fall into the category of people who have a great idea the night before that does not seem all that great when the alarm clock goes off.  Can I get an amen?!?

How do you pick a title for this?

I have been such a bore lately. Not only blogingly speaking, but I all around. My mind is back and forth between numerous things and the sores in my mouth (yes I still have 2 of them), keep me from wanting to say much to anyone. 

Let's see what comes out of my mind this morning...

-Can someone tell me how to change my comments from saying 'sweet comments'? I did this several months ago, and I guess I was feeling extra sentimental that day because since that moment it has bothered me. I cannot figure out how to change it, so it has remained against my liking. 

-Yesterday evening, we went to the Sandies homecoming parade. The kids loved it and they were quite a hit. I am pretty sure they received more candy than anyone else in the miles of turf covered. All of the high school students eewed and awed over the two little munchkins in their fall outfits. I guess that means Brad and I have a lot of candy to consume, because I could never allow Noah or Kayt to eat the mound of candy they acquired because their teeth would fall right out of their heads. Kayt only has 3 so that  would really put her at a disadvantage.  I also realized how popular my husband is. When you are the high school pastor to the largest youth group in town, you are well known in the high school community. It was like being married to a mini-celebrity. Kids were yelling his name from every direction. The older gentleman standing next to us said, "I'm assuming you must be Brad. Should I get your autograph?" The funniest thing was that Brad hardly had a voice yesterday so he was just making hand gestures at them. 

-Noah loved the marching band. He loves all things band, from VH1 to Sunday morning worship to the marching band, he loves music. He is actually quite talented at the guitar and drums. I know I am his mother and all, but for a 2 year old, he jams out. He can keep count and can memmic most any pattern. He is so cute tapping his drum sticks together saying "one, two, one two three..." Vouch for me here Lezlie. When she heard him play, she said he was a prodigy. And she knows music. Okay, bragging over.

-After the parade, Noah requested dinner at either "Chic-ba-way or Shili's."  Since our pickins' were slim, Brad and I opted for Chili's. A monsoon came and went while we ate dinner. I think Jesus had that dinner lined up for us, because we ran into several friends while there and ended up getting to eat dinner with our friends, Sarah and Jared. Thanks Sarah for sacrificing your quiet dinner with your husband for a messy and loud dinner with us. Isn't it funny how eating out changes once you have children. Noah thought it was so funny to dip his chip AND HAND into the ranch dressing. Kayt, on the other hand, didn't seem to think anything was funny. She was 2 hours past due for dinner and we were running into her bedtime. She is nothing if not scheduled. 

-Kayt is walking!  She awoke the morning before her birthday and I guess Jesus gave her the walking pass in her sleep because she went from taking steps and cruising around the furniture to walking, walking and walking more. It has always amazed me how babies seem to reach milestones upon waking up, or at least mine do. Do yours? Noah went down for a nap as a crawler and woke up as a walker. It just isn't like that for adults. I don't go to sleep at night not being able to skateboard and wake up in the morning being able to glide up a ramp. --Don't ask me why I picked skateboarding, it just came to me. I guess it is from Noah's third love, skate parks. What? He is well-rounded; sports, bands, skateboarding...-- Okay, let me use a more realistic example. I don't fall asleep not being able to sew and wake up making quilts. Better?

-As soon as I get Noah's book shelf re-done I will post pictures of his big boy room. After I get the book shelf completed, I have a cute idea for a project for Kayt. If it turns out like I plan, I'll tell you about it. If it doesn't you will never hear another word of it. That's how I roll. After that project, I want to reorganize our closet and bedroom. This is where you come into play. The bottom line is that we do not have enough room for all of our clothes and shoes. We have cleaned out and given away and thrown away until we can do it no more. We really do wear all that we have (well, most of it), and only a small portion of the clothing I own is in our room. I keep a lot of my belongings at my in-laws. Does anyone use anything, organizationally speaking, in their closet that would be good for me to know about. I am trying to fit as much as possible in a relatively small walk-in (I guess you could call it that) closet. I want it to be organized and easily accessible. I understand the sky is not the limit when you have a closet that is older than it's owner. In 1958, when our house was built, they must not have owned the amount of things that we own 50 years later. Or maybe it is the difference in how the owners do or do not accumulate massive amounts of 'stuff'. The funny thing is, Brad and I don't buy new things, really we don't, but somehow our stuff seems to be expanding!

-And last, but most important, thank you Mandy for the new header. I didn't even ask her to make me one. I was pleasantly surprised when I opened my email to find this. Gosh, I love good friends! For $15 she will make you one too. Okay, I'm kidding. She doesn't do it for pay. But have you thought about it Mandy?

-If you made it this far, bless your heart. If it were me, I would be quickly skimming the post by this point. Have a great weekend. Pray for Brad, he is speaking at a Disciple Now and still has little to no voice. He made himself a homemade remedy last night. Any guesses on what was in the medicine (wink, wink)?

Falling

I loved the familiar feelings I had this morning. They are feelings that I experience each year as August comes to a close and September begins.

I loved hearing College Game Day on the tv as I walked through the house.

I loved knowing that football would consume my husbands day. 

I find some sort of odd comfort in the fact that my husband loves sports. It reminds me of my growing up and my dad. 

I loved the blue sky, sunshine and fresh air that smelled of change. 

Though warm, there was a briskness that has been absent for months. 

I loved that I contemplated between shorts and pants this morning.

I loved that pants won!

Fall is falling into place, just as it should. 

I love this time of year and I love changing seasons. With each season, I am reminded that change is good. It is inevitable and sometimes untimely, yet good for the soul; a simple reminder that I am not in control.  

Just Thinking...

In the past 24 hours I've:

-done 7 (oversized) loads of laundry.

-changed more diapers than you want to know about

-cleaned pee off the carpet.

-laid on the floor so that Noah could practice his long jumping over me.

-built a house. (so what if it was with Legos)

-carried on full length conversations with 3 baby dolls at one time.

-gone through half a box of Kleenexes wiping a snotty nose

-cooked 3 meals

-took a shower with a fully clothed little boy

-used my mini-vacuum more times than I can count

-played soccer, basketball, frisbee, golf, and baseball

-the list goes on...

And you know what?

I love it. 

All of it.

I love my husband. I love my kids. I love what I do. 

I love that when my husband comes home at the end of the day and  asks me what I've done that day I can look at him with glazed over eyes and smile knowing he just wouldn't get it. Part of me thinks, do you really want to know? Another part of me thinks, if I told you you wouldn't believe me. Yet, most of me is just too exhausted to even give an account. So I usually just smile and say something to the effect of "Not much. What did you do?" And that is that.

There are days, like today, when the house is quiet during nap time that the only things that seems appropriate is to sit down and take my thankful heart before the Lord.  I love to know that I have two bedrooms, with two cribs, holding two babies that I just adore.  I love knowing that I serve a God who is faithful to an unworthy girl.  I like that it's okay to know and be comfortable with the fact that I am unworthy. 

What are you most thankful for today?

Scatterbrained Sundays

-Noah cried for over 30 minutes tonight. He has been schmoozing his daddy out of a prompt bedtime lately so I figured tonight was as good as any to break bad habits. I almost gave in when he started saying "Mommy! I'm sad. I need you. I'm sad." I know tomorrow night I will be thankful that I stood firm, but it's tough sometimes. He's just so darn convincing with that sweet voice and those puppy dog eyes. But isn't it funny how it just takes one time for them to break a bad habit like that?

-I already miss Brad like crazy. He left at 4am on Friday, flew to Dallas and then onto Miami.  They arrived in Ecuador around 10:30 (central time) that night. I have not been able to talk to him yet, but I know they are there and doing well. If you are interested, you can track the trip here. You may even be able to see a video feed from a cute dark haired boy I refer to as 'babe' later in the week.

-When I told Noah that his daddy was in Miami, he said "Daddy's in your-ami?" 

I was trying to tell him that he wasn't in my-ami, he was in a city called Miami. 

He said, "Daddy's with your-Amy? Why is daddy with Amy?"

Good question Noah. Who's Amy? ;-)

It's like how he thinks Mr. Gatti's is called Mr. Daddys. He says, "Daddy, that's yous resturant?'

-Teach me your ways , O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my hart; I will glorify your name forever.

This is my heart's plea. Not just for my life, but more specifically for this week. As I seek the Lord I am really petitioning that he teach me his ways. Holy Spirit speak to me and allow me to see greater glimpses of who is the person of Jesus. 

I am praying this for everyone who reads this also. As you seek the Lord this week, while you are spending time in the presence of Jesus, I pray he teaches you his ways. I pray he shows all of us where are hearts are divided and brings healing and joy in the restoration of a heart solely after the glory of an almighty God.

-I saw Mamma Mia! this weekend. While we were in Dallas the guys took on childcare duties and allowed all the gals to go see the movie. I wanted to see the movie, but had embraced the idea that it would most likely not happen. We see movies on rare occasions (I think I have a 2 movie-per-year average) and when we do see a movie anything containing scenes of spandex, dancing, love songs or a predominately female cast would never go over with my action-loving-husband. Because of this, I relished in our movie venture. It was a great chick-flick and quite entertaining. 

Has anyone else seen it? Did you laugh when Pierce Brosnan sang? I did, but I'm not sure it was supposed to be comical.?!

-We had a great time in Dallas this weekend. We loved seeing sweet Tyson and spending time with family. 

My married-into-family is so much fun! Traveling with them is as relaxed as a family vacation can be, whereas my own family is more prone to be described as rambunctious, disorganized, or possibly chaotic.

Other than coming down with some type of 12 hour bug and spending the first night tossing and turning with teeth-chattering chills and then hot flashes, everything was ideal. I still have a bit of a lingering headache from the 'bug', but aside from that, I'm A-okay. 

Here's a glimpse of our fun!

 

Happy Birthday to our favorite cousin!

Uncle Aaron and the lil' swimmers

The birthday boy and his Mama

They are so fun!

Our efforts in getting a picture to email to daddy

Why does a 'kid picture' never seem to work out?

One tall, handsome lad and this would be a perfect picture (You like Papa's socks? I do!)

Uncle Clay and his only neice

I'm only willing to share my child for a few more years Lindsey, then you need your own ;)

If you could see her in her bikini, you would be grinning.

Remember When

Smell.

Sound.

Touch.

Sight.

Taste.

Our senses are powerful. 

Smells and music are my two greatest memory triggers. 

Certain smells spark memories taking me back to particular times in my life. One smell may remind me of crawling in bed with my mom on lazy summer mornings while another makes me think back to my first year of teaching.  Other smells remind me of camps, pregnancy, right after my children were born, my great-grandparents house, college nights, high school friends or when Brad and I were dating. Often I smell a scent and I am instantly taken back to a specific moment in my childhood and it's as if I can almost remember what that time in my life looked like. Specific emotions and thoughts overwhelm my mind.  

Music has the same effect.

When I hear a song, it takes me back to a specific time, a memory from my past. I remember summers and friends by songs. I think of junior high dances and high school volleyball through songs.  I think of my hopes and dreams when the song was popular and love to see what the Lord has actually done in my life since that time. 

Songs remind me of the Lord's faithfulness. 

Today I pulled out several of my favorite old cds and popped them in my car. As I drove and listened to those songs, I made a conscious effort to think back on the memories they sparked. Doing this reminded me of all the Lord has done for me. 

He has given me a hope.

He has determined my steps.

He has worked for my good.

He has proven trustworthy.

He has provided for me. 

He has blessed me.

He has taught me.

He has disciplined me.

He has changed me.

He has shaped me.

He has given me more than I could have imagined.

He has determined my portion.

He has acted on my behalf.

He has loved me.

He has never forsaken me.

He has conformed me to his image.

He has changed my heart.

He has made me more than a conqueror.

He has been my portion.

The Lord has done so much for me and in thinking back on certain times in my life, I can see how faithful my Jesus really is. 

I look forward to listening to the songs of my current interest and thinking back to this moment in my life.  In that, I am certain I will see the same anthem...faithfulness. It is Jesus' nature. He cannot deny his own faithfulness because it is who he is.  I am thankful that he allows me to see him as that, a faithful father. 

Try it.

Dig for those cds and tapes and let your memory go. 

Thank Jesus for all he has been!

For all that you've done I will thank you...

I'm thankful because...

*I am soon to spend an entire week in the mountains with my husband.

*Our family is gracious enough to not only keep our kids all week, but to have planned an action-packed-week-o-fun! They are getting their very own vacation within the city limits.

*The Lord gave me a word through a friend to "SHUT IT DOWN" and he has been merciful to help me shut down the thoughts that aren't glorifying. Thank you Jesus!

*I can finally see the light at the end of the packing tunnel. There were many times this weekend that I thought I would never get everyone packed for the week.

*My toe nails are an eye catching pinkish-redish-orangish and I must say, the color is very summer-y. 

*JOY!

*Kayt melts my heart each time she claps and waves. Oh, I could eat that cute little grin right off of her face!

*I am anticipating much time to myself this week to sit and think and pray and just be Abba's delight.

*Our new rug should be ready sometime this week! It will be much more crawl-friendly.

*And my new prescription sunglasses should be ready as well. This just tickles my fancy.

*Noah has began to call me momma...at least a few times. I love it! It's just the sweetest sound, but I also love when he calls me Ashee, it's just so...him! 

*I had Taco Villa for dinner, mmmmm. Nasty indulgences delight me!

*Gone IS the Wind!!! The past few days have been gust free, I'm please with that.

*God is faithful! 

We are soon headed to the mountain tops of New Mexico, please pray for us as we are away this week. 

Pray for safety, the Lord's power to be heavy, and my special time with the girls during our class session.

Pray also for my children and my family. I am having a really hard time leaving them, it is such a hard thing for me to do. I've already cried on a few occasions today and I do not want my thoughts to be so consumed by longing to be with them, that I am absent from the place the Lord has called me. Pray also that I can serve my husband and be a blessing to him this week!

Thanks Dudes!

Bow Down!

Here we go again, sitting down to a blank, daunting screen with so much to say, yet so little that can be said. 

Thought 1:

Here's the deal peeps, I'm laying it all out...take it or leave it. :)

I was sitting in my chair preparing to teach a class at camp next week  on the sweet topic of joy. The only problem is that my heart doesn't feel so joyful. Instead heaviness seems to be pressing the life out of my joy lately, suffocating it. I awoke this morning feeling heavy and burdened. I spent the morning hours thinking of friends who were hurting, feeling that my job on this particular day was to press into the Lord, to speak on behalf of those who may also be feeling heaviness. 

But prayer has been my role more than I had planed. You see, we've had two people we knew pass away today. My dad's very close friend died in a tragic accident this morning and Brad's uncle went to be with Jesus this evening. 

Here's the deal though, joy is my choice. How will I handle these and other circumstances? Will I choose to cling to my knowledge that the Lord is the fullness of joy and in him, there is life?  

This has been my cry for months now. I have spent many hours taking my thoughts captive and making them bow down before the throne of Christ. Without this strong discipline, I've struggled.  I cringe each time the phone rings for fear that it might be dreadful news. I have to hold my tongue each time my husband leaves the house because I so badly want to beg him to stay, not to go for fear of something terrible happening.  

The funny thing is, it's not death that I fear. 

It's just fear in general. Fear of feeling an overwhelming emotion and having no power to change the circumstance.

The same fears have crept in and out my mind my entire life. I've spoke of it before, but the enemy knows my trap. He knows my thorn, and my thorn is fear. 

Yet in the fear, I know life is for living and not just living, but living to the fullest.  Jesus is the giver of life and joy and gladness.  And though I am pressed, I'm not crushed. I am not destroyed. I claim victory over fear! I speak out against Satan's attack on my mind, spirit and emotions. 

My greatest hope is that Satan would not rob me of present joy for fear of future grief.  I may be alone in this struggle. In fact, I hope I am. I hope Satan doesn't use this same tactic on others, I would love for every other person to be free from this burden, but I know that is wishful thinking.

Thought 2:

Hubby and I leave for one of the high school camps on Monday. I am really excited. We just believe so many students will encounter Jesus next week, we are anticipating it. I have the privledge of teaching a "girls only" class everyday. I love doing this; speaking to girls about my favorite topic: The Lord! I am blessed that my husband trusts me enough to do this.

The downfall to the week is that we are leaving the kiddos.  Six days is too long to be gone. But, my first delight is being with my husband and helping him serve in any way I can. My kids will be fine without me, I am the one who has a hard time. Last year I hopped on board with someone who was headed home early and I am secretly (or not so secretly now) hoping to do the same this year. Only time will tell!

Thought 3:

I made lasagna for dinner. There is no food better than lasagna done right. Lasagna done wrong, on the other hand, is pure nastiness. I'll share the recipe tomorrow. I actually got it from a blog I am giddy to tell about.

Thought 4: 

I am hoping to paint my toenails tomorrow.

I've had it on my to-do list for over a week. 

Tomorrow is the day, I just know it!

Thought 5: 

Dear people who do not live in the same city as me,

             Is it windy where you live? Please tell me we are not the only ones suffering from the terrible, horrible,  no good, very bad wind. I am so tired of the same forecast, windy and warm. Well, what good is warmth and sunshine if you look as though you've just drank a V8 each time you step outside. I cannot sit Kayt in the grass for fear of her tiny little booty blowing to Kansas. I was even gettin' all scripturized on it today. I was claimin' the commands of Jesus to stop the storm (or wind in my case), but it didn't work. Sigh.

Sincerely,

A Wind Blown Blogger

Thought 6:

I like late night t.v. 

It entertains me.

I Wonder

As I sit in my over-sized chair and stare out the window in my living room, all morning I've gazed at the elementary school across the street with wonder. 

I wonder what it will be like when I walk my chubby-cheeked  boy and big-eyed girl to the door of their elementary school. Whether the school in my view or another, the day will come. I will walk these souls to the classroom of a school and leave them to be entranced by the knowledge they will inhale, though taller and wiser and more fluent in speech, they will still be my babies. My precious, captivating, miraculous babies. 

I may be able to put it off for a year. Maybe two or three, if I can convince my husband that home-schooled kids are NOT freaks, but inevitably they will fly from my coup. 

I wonder what my life will be like when I don't wake up to the sound of small feet running wildly on a hardwood floor. Or walk into a pink room only to find a wide-eyed beauty on her tummy, elbows locked, anxiously staring over the black and white paisley bumper awaiting her morning rescue. I wonder what I will do to fill my time when I'm not rolling on the floor with my sweet girl just to get a giggle from the deepest pit of her belly, or reading book after book after book, or folding tiny socks and pajamas. 

I wonder.

I cherish when the little body sitting beside me in our chair wraps his fluffy, creased arms around my waist and flails his yogurt-covered face into  my lap and says I Yuv You as I lean down to kiss his uncombed head of hair.  What will this wild, dirty-blonde haired boy accomplish in his life? I wonder.  

My prayer is the verse his daddy has claimed from the Lord to be our sweet boy's anthem. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.  How will he come to know the Lord and what kind of ride of mercy will he take? What nations will he reach and how will I trust the Lord in using his life? I wonder.

And I wonder what sounds will bring me as much joy as those that come from my munchkin. My princess, who tugs on my sleeve as she sits propped by the big, over-sized pillows of our chair with all her effort focused on gaining my attention.  The sounds that spill from her mouth delight me more than the most beautiful of melody pouring from a stringed quartet.  i love the giggles that escape as I nuzzle my nose into that squishy belly and watch her hands flap aimlessly in the air. And the coos and squeals that shrieks as I work to take in all the kisses her slobber covered neck hold and work my kisses to her tooth-less grin. 

I wonder what moments in my future will allow me to see the goodness of God in such a tangible, evident way. I wonder. I wonder how she will experience God's richest goodness in her life and what type of outpouring she will choose to give back to him. 

And I wonder how tall Noah will be. 

Six foot two like daddy or will he surpass him? 

I wonder what shade of brown Kayt's  locks will appear as the sun bounces off of them while running through the sprinkler. 

Will we let it to grow long and beautiful, or keep is it short and manicured?

I wonder.

I wonder where all the tears I will cry as I drop my babies off at some elementary school will fall. Surely they will be plentiful enough to bring moisture to the tulips in the dry west Texas spring. 

But as God has increased my territory over the past few years and brought more delight and blessings to my life than my mind could ever have dreamed, I wonder what he has in store for the future. 

I wonder. 

I know with all certainty that there will be one, if not a thousand, moments in my life I will long for the chair-sitting, wondering days back. But sometimes, don't you just wonder?

I Have One friend...

I have one friend. Actually, I have more than one. I have many friends. Many great friends. 

I have one friend who has been my friend since elementary Girl Scouts. She is funny and talented and treats me like a sister. She is the only sister I've ever known. We've schemed together, prayed together, cooked together, laughed together, cried together, dreamed together; we enjoy being together. She has taught me that it is never too late to take up a new hobby. She has also taught me that when you start it, finish it and do the best job you possibly can. I've learned that she handles adversity better than I do. I've also learned that, through Jesus, friends can grow closer with each passing year.  

I have one friend who joined my life when I needed a spark of creativity and energy. She keeps me up on the latest, the greatest, the trendiest.  Each time I am around her, I am reminded of how real she is. She is honest, she knows herself, she knows me and she still loves me for all of my shortcomings. This girl has rhythm.  She is dramatic, funny and full of life. She makes everyone feel comfortable and as though they are her best friend. The Lord has shaped her and changed her and blessed me through her. Because of her, I have learned that the Lord has my greatest desires in mind and is able to do more than I can ever ask or imagine. She is a great teacher, daughter, wife and friend.

I have one friend who knew my husband long before I did. This girl knows how to trust. She is a testimony of God's faithfulness and provision and the way she chooses to live her life reminds me of these attributes. She knows the truths of God and they are always on her lips.  I complain to her and she lets me. Then, she gently rebukes me and sharpens me in the sweetest, most loving manner. I see her often, but much less than I would like to. She is a precious fragrance in my life. She, her husband and her children have brought so much laughter and joy to my family. Together, the Lord has changed our hearts from knowing only the facts of Jesus' love, to the ways he still chooses to work in the hearts and lives of believers.  She is gentle and patient and accepting and prayerful and encouraging.

I have one friend who is so similar to me. She thinks much like I do, she lives much like I do and she is precious to me. I admire her and respect her. I love her pure, deep love for Christ and the way he woos her heart to his each day. She is funny and strong and wise and a deep-thinker. I have sought her counsel and trusted her advice.  She is a great mother and wife and really loves the people in her life. I love her stability and intensity.  She has taught me to treasure each moment and to find simple ways to remind those around me of my love for them. She is as refreshing as the ocean breeze!

I have one friend who gives. And then she gives some more. And more and more and more. She is one of the greatest friends I have known. She is funny, witty, like-able and strong. She has not let life's set-backs impel her future. She serves the Lord and people with no reservations. She gives of her time, her money and her talents. She is true, down-to-earth, and loved by so many. Her life of ministry has had far greater reach than she will ever know. I can testify; it has reached so far down into my heart that I am more in love with Jesus because of her. I watch her, I study her and then I thank Jesus that he placed that precious heart inside of my friend. She is a treasure!

I have one friend who is family. I loved her before she was family, but being family has strengthened my love for her. She is prepared, thorough and kind-hearted. She has shown me what forgiveness means. Forgiveness is a lifestyle, a daily choice. Through her, I've grown to understand the discipline of following Christ. She is a fabulous mother and friend. She is a loving sister and daughter. She is an encourager and a perfectionist. She is sensitive to others and speaks only kind words. She is open, honest, witty and fun. I am so thankful that we are family!

I have one friend who is the life of the party. When she shows up, memories are made. She is smart and talented. She is also honest and giving. She pours her self into her tasks and always produces perfection. She is adveturous and spontaneous. She is a supporter.  She goes out of her way to give to others. Because of her, I've laughed until my side hurt on too many occasions.

I have one friend who is new. She has been a huge blessing in my life. We are similar in spirit, in heart and in life. She has encouraged me in motherhood and been available to me. She is easy to be around, loved by all and so special to me.  She is beautiful, genuine, a steward and full of energy. She pours herself into her family and because of that, her children will call her blessed. She has given me her time, her ear, her love and her resources. I am so thankful for my newest friend.

The Lord has poured loving and pure women into my life. The greatest thing about each of these friendships is that, in the end, they all reflect the love of Jesus. The creative, perfect, genuine, joyful, real, wise love of my Savior. Thank you Jesus for friends! 

I am so grateful for my one friend. 

Get Your Green On

In honor of Going Green, I thought I would share some of my recent findings. 

I have struggled with housing cleaning supplies that can potentially harm my children. As many times as I've considered giving up cleaning all together for the sake of the kids health, I know deep down that the cleaning show must go on! Every cleaning product is placed so far out of read, for the sake of the kids, that even I cannot reach them.  Thankfully, my husband was thoughtful and purchased me my very own step stool. He's a romantic. 

I am not completely organic, nor am I all natural, but I am trying to make wiser choices. My former 'convenience' is being challanged. 

Here are a few tips I've used for a while, as well as a few of my most recent findings. 

Go here, here, here or here for useful website on making your own household cleaning products.

Whiter Whites

I pour vinegar in with my load of whites. It is great for keeping the whites stark and removing dinginess. I don't do this each time, but more often than not, I do. With a large load (is there anything other than a large load?) I probably pour close to  1/4 cup. Better yet, I give the bottle a 3ish second pour.  How is that for being exact? :) I'm just estimating because I never measure it. You cannot smell in on the clothes once cleaned. 

Great Window Cleaner

12-16oz. water

1/2 cup white vinegar

1/4 cup rubbing alcohol

My mother-in-law found this recipe and it works great!

Shining Hardwood Floors

Equal parts Vegetable Oil and Vinegar

Toothpaste

Equal parts peroxide and baking soda

Hand Soap

Use bubble bath for hand soap. Simply refill your soap dispenser with great smelling bubble bath.

I have not done this yet because I haven't needed hand soap since I read this tip, but I think it would be fun, especially in the kids bathroom.

I've also found several recipe for making your own laundry detergent. Has anyone ever done this? If not, does anyone want to be the guine pig and try it? Just curious :) From what I have read you can make a batch for less than a dollar. Just think of all the people we could bless with the money we normally would spend on detergent! Check out the recipe here.  I say we all give it a shot. I am almost out of detergent!

Environmentally safe does not mean child safe, make sure to thoroughly label all bottles and keep all supplies out of reach. Do it for the sake of the kids!