A gal can't live on bread alone.

I walked into my pantry in search of something to fill my empty stomach. But what? Nothing in sight sounded remotely appetizing. 

Do you know how that is? 

I knew I was hungry. We had been at the pool and my lunch seemed to wash away with the waves and my tired body was hungry.

I didn't want anything we had. 

I didn't want anything we didn't have. 

Yet, I wanted something. 

I opened a few boxes, took a nibble here and there, but still no.  I found no solace on the shelves of the refrigerator either. 

I wanted something, something specific, but I had NO idea what that 'something' was. I felt almost frantic at my hungry attempts, yet I was still standing empty handed. 

That's how I've felt spiritually also.

I'm hungry. 

Yearning. 

But in my attempts at feeding my soul, nothing seems to satisfy. 

Not scripture, not prayer, not books, nothing. I just want more of Jesus. 

I know he can be found in those places, there's no doubt about that, I just can't get enough of him. 

Do you ever feel like that? 

It's like I want to stand in the middle of the street and yell for his presence to fall. Yell at the top of my lungs, scream until my voice grows weary, begging him. 

Although not satisfied with my weak view of God, I'm thankful that I am so desperate for him. It's not always like that for me. I go through seasons. Sometimes I year for the Lord. Other times, I want to yearn, my mind knows I should be yearning, but my heart seems to have restraint.  I feel dry, weak, in need of refueling.  Yet, in all that knowledge it seems that I continually have to d-r-a-g myself to his word. I have to beat myself into a position of prayer.

I know we must walk through the desert to have any knowledge of what the Promised Land looks like, but desert times are hard. 

So, although I feel unquenched by the spirit, I'm thankful. 

And although I'm thankful, I'm not arrogant or foolish enough to believe I am here to stay forever. I know my seasons of doubt and arid will come again. 

For now, I'm going to relish in the green pastures so that I will have promises and hopes to cling to in the future.

Where are you?

I've told you where I am right now, but you also know where I've been and where I'm going. There is no shame in any season of life. That's the beauty of life, especially life in Jesus. We change, we grow, we learn and we go on.  

I would love to start a prayer for this specific topic. Let me know where you are. I want to pray for other women to come to know the Lord more deeply. Will you pray the same thing for me? Let's move the heart of Jesus with a unified cry out to him for ourselves and our friends. 

Leave your name, a comment if you would like, or just your name and I'll begin praying for you. For me, I've learned the quickest way to come out of a desert season is to speak it. I found how important it is to be vulnerable and shed light to my souls darkness. 

Speak it girls.

No matter where you are.

There's no shame in Jesus name! (thats so corny I'm laughing at myself!)