A gal can't live on bread alone.

I walked into my pantry in search of something to fill my empty stomach. But what? Nothing in sight sounded remotely appetizing. 

Do you know how that is? 

I knew I was hungry. We had been at the pool and my lunch seemed to wash away with the waves and my tired body was hungry.

I didn't want anything we had. 

I didn't want anything we didn't have. 

Yet, I wanted something. 

I opened a few boxes, took a nibble here and there, but still no.  I found no solace on the shelves of the refrigerator either. 

I wanted something, something specific, but I had NO idea what that 'something' was. I felt almost frantic at my hungry attempts, yet I was still standing empty handed. 

That's how I've felt spiritually also.

I'm hungry. 

Yearning. 

But in my attempts at feeding my soul, nothing seems to satisfy. 

Not scripture, not prayer, not books, nothing. I just want more of Jesus. 

I know he can be found in those places, there's no doubt about that, I just can't get enough of him. 

Do you ever feel like that? 

It's like I want to stand in the middle of the street and yell for his presence to fall. Yell at the top of my lungs, scream until my voice grows weary, begging him. 

Although not satisfied with my weak view of God, I'm thankful that I am so desperate for him. It's not always like that for me. I go through seasons. Sometimes I year for the Lord. Other times, I want to yearn, my mind knows I should be yearning, but my heart seems to have restraint.  I feel dry, weak, in need of refueling.  Yet, in all that knowledge it seems that I continually have to d-r-a-g myself to his word. I have to beat myself into a position of prayer.

I know we must walk through the desert to have any knowledge of what the Promised Land looks like, but desert times are hard. 

So, although I feel unquenched by the spirit, I'm thankful. 

And although I'm thankful, I'm not arrogant or foolish enough to believe I am here to stay forever. I know my seasons of doubt and arid will come again. 

For now, I'm going to relish in the green pastures so that I will have promises and hopes to cling to in the future.

Where are you?

I've told you where I am right now, but you also know where I've been and where I'm going. There is no shame in any season of life. That's the beauty of life, especially life in Jesus. We change, we grow, we learn and we go on.  

I would love to start a prayer for this specific topic. Let me know where you are. I want to pray for other women to come to know the Lord more deeply. Will you pray the same thing for me? Let's move the heart of Jesus with a unified cry out to him for ourselves and our friends. 

Leave your name, a comment if you would like, or just your name and I'll begin praying for you. For me, I've learned the quickest way to come out of a desert season is to speak it. I found how important it is to be vulnerable and shed light to my souls darkness. 

Speak it girls.

No matter where you are.

There's no shame in Jesus name! (thats so corny I'm laughing at myself!)

Scatterbrained Sundays

-Noah cried for over 30 minutes tonight. He has been schmoozing his daddy out of a prompt bedtime lately so I figured tonight was as good as any to break bad habits. I almost gave in when he started saying "Mommy! I'm sad. I need you. I'm sad." I know tomorrow night I will be thankful that I stood firm, but it's tough sometimes. He's just so darn convincing with that sweet voice and those puppy dog eyes. But isn't it funny how it just takes one time for them to break a bad habit like that?

-I already miss Brad like crazy. He left at 4am on Friday, flew to Dallas and then onto Miami.  They arrived in Ecuador around 10:30 (central time) that night. I have not been able to talk to him yet, but I know they are there and doing well. If you are interested, you can track the trip here. You may even be able to see a video feed from a cute dark haired boy I refer to as 'babe' later in the week.

-When I told Noah that his daddy was in Miami, he said "Daddy's in your-ami?" 

I was trying to tell him that he wasn't in my-ami, he was in a city called Miami. 

He said, "Daddy's with your-Amy? Why is daddy with Amy?"

Good question Noah. Who's Amy? ;-)

It's like how he thinks Mr. Gatti's is called Mr. Daddys. He says, "Daddy, that's yous resturant?'

-Teach me your ways , O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my hart; I will glorify your name forever.

This is my heart's plea. Not just for my life, but more specifically for this week. As I seek the Lord I am really petitioning that he teach me his ways. Holy Spirit speak to me and allow me to see greater glimpses of who is the person of Jesus. 

I am praying this for everyone who reads this also. As you seek the Lord this week, while you are spending time in the presence of Jesus, I pray he teaches you his ways. I pray he shows all of us where are hearts are divided and brings healing and joy in the restoration of a heart solely after the glory of an almighty God.

-I saw Mamma Mia! this weekend. While we were in Dallas the guys took on childcare duties and allowed all the gals to go see the movie. I wanted to see the movie, but had embraced the idea that it would most likely not happen. We see movies on rare occasions (I think I have a 2 movie-per-year average) and when we do see a movie anything containing scenes of spandex, dancing, love songs or a predominately female cast would never go over with my action-loving-husband. Because of this, I relished in our movie venture. It was a great chick-flick and quite entertaining. 

Has anyone else seen it? Did you laugh when Pierce Brosnan sang? I did, but I'm not sure it was supposed to be comical.?!

-We had a great time in Dallas this weekend. We loved seeing sweet Tyson and spending time with family. 

My married-into-family is so much fun! Traveling with them is as relaxed as a family vacation can be, whereas my own family is more prone to be described as rambunctious, disorganized, or possibly chaotic.

Other than coming down with some type of 12 hour bug and spending the first night tossing and turning with teeth-chattering chills and then hot flashes, everything was ideal. I still have a bit of a lingering headache from the 'bug', but aside from that, I'm A-okay. 

Here's a glimpse of our fun!

 

Happy Birthday to our favorite cousin!

Uncle Aaron and the lil' swimmers

The birthday boy and his Mama

They are so fun!

Our efforts in getting a picture to email to daddy

Why does a 'kid picture' never seem to work out?

One tall, handsome lad and this would be a perfect picture (You like Papa's socks? I do!)

Uncle Clay and his only neice

I'm only willing to share my child for a few more years Lindsey, then you need your own ;)

If you could see her in her bikini, you would be grinning.

Laterz

We are headed to Dallas

to celebrate this cutie's 1st birthday!

Hubby is headed to Ecuador

to build shelters

and tell sweet children about our Savior.

Have a great weekend! 

Prayers for the group's work and safety would be greatly valued!

my to-do list

just for a bit of accountability...

--updated at 3:00 pm. and the day is still young!--

-pack my kids for Dallas trip

-pack myself for same trip

-help pack hubby for a different trip. he will soon be exiting the country for mission work.

-buy ribbon for Tyson's birthday present.

-mail a really late birthday present and early baby gift.

-finish a project for my aunt, the realtor.

-write an exerpt for my mother-in-law. (this is a cool story, maybe i can share it sometime)

-come up with some solution to our 'door issue'. sigh.

-buy more swim diapers.

-clean out the refrigerator.

-family time.

-husband time.

-work on beth more "stepping up" study.

-shower. gosh, it's been a while since i've last done that one.

-vacuum. we brought gobs of pet rocks from the park today.

-laundry. this one never leaves my list.

-write a post for denise telling why my child refers to me by my first name.

-write a post thanking tiffany for a sweet award and choose my recipients.

-get around to telling all the fun things that have been going on in our house over the past week. or maybe not. i may just opt out of sharing all of our adventures.

-go to bed. night night.

Door-ly Beloved

For some insane reason, when we were working countless tiring hours on fixing up our 5o-year old home, we opted not to paint the doors. We painted every other inch of wood in this casa and why we decided to skimp out on the doors is beyond me. 

Over the past year, I have spent many nights rocking Kayt or reading to Noah only to glance up and think "we must paint those doors to match the other woodwork."   

Actually, I know why we didn't paint the doors in the first place.  We were tired.  I had had home renovations up to my ears and was ready to just live in the darn thing.  I was also 6 months pregnant.  

You see, our first house was new. It had great countertops, a lovely back splash, an oversized garden tub, wonderful tile and no character. I mean, it was great. Everything was new, clean, worked well, and smelled fresh but it was just like 3 other houses on our block.  I decided that when it came to our next house I wanted something old.  I wanted to be able to pull up all the carpet to find thick, real hardwood floors. I wanted to paint and texture and re-do.  I wanted a floorplan that wasn't like my neighbors. I wanted something with character!

I'm crazy.

I realized I was crazy about 2 hours into Home Renovation 101.  I also realized that HGTV was much more fun to watch than to live.   

Back to the doors... 

Our home has so so many doors. Gosh. So many doors.

When I decided last week that I wanted to accomplish my door-painting project, I called in back-up. My mom came to the rescue and agreed to spend the day helping me or better put, doing most of the work.  

Last Tuesday, while Noah was away at M.D.O. my mom, brother and I began removing the doors and painting.  We were about 95% complete by that evening and I was quite impressed with our diligence. 

I knew my hubby would be so proud and very thankful that I had taken it upon myself to undertake such a huge task. I knew I must be earning brownie points in the 'wife-of-the-year' book. 

On Wednesday, Brad was going to spend an hour or two rehanging all the doors.  All in all, it was turning out to be a pretty easy project. A little over 24 hours of mayhem and we would be back to normal. With white doors, of course.  My father-in-law came over to assist my minimally handy husband.

After two hours, I could see the frustration rising in Brad's eyes. I could hear the exaggerated sighs.  I knew something must not be right when dinner time rolled around and no doors had found their previous home.  

Apparently...I should have labeled doors and hinges.  

Apparently...every door in our house is sized just a bit differently.

Apparently...certain hinges went with certain doors.

Apperently...I made a big mistake.

So, my innocently good efforts in improving the quality of our home life was in vein. Okay, so maybe I wasn't trying to improve our quality of living, but I thought it would look better.  

After playing musical doors for a day or so, we now have 6 doors lined up in our hallway, 2 in the garage, 6 on their rightful hinges, and 5 that are hanging but do not shut correctly.  

If you are in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by.

We would love for you to be our guest. 

But if you are expecting to use the bathroom in privacy, you may have to go to one of those "newer" houses with less "character".  But, the pantry is a free-for-all and the towels in the hall closet are easily accessible.  

Character I wanted, character I got because nothing spells character like a house with no doors.

I think now would be a good time to remove my name from that wife-of-the-year list. I'll just disqualify myself.  

Ugh...

I feel sick.

NO, I am not pregnant.

Yes, I am sure.

I just feel sick and wanted to tell someone.

I chose you.

Remember When

Smell.

Sound.

Touch.

Sight.

Taste.

Our senses are powerful. 

Smells and music are my two greatest memory triggers. 

Certain smells spark memories taking me back to particular times in my life. One smell may remind me of crawling in bed with my mom on lazy summer mornings while another makes me think back to my first year of teaching.  Other smells remind me of camps, pregnancy, right after my children were born, my great-grandparents house, college nights, high school friends or when Brad and I were dating. Often I smell a scent and I am instantly taken back to a specific moment in my childhood and it's as if I can almost remember what that time in my life looked like. Specific emotions and thoughts overwhelm my mind.  

Music has the same effect.

When I hear a song, it takes me back to a specific time, a memory from my past. I remember summers and friends by songs. I think of junior high dances and high school volleyball through songs.  I think of my hopes and dreams when the song was popular and love to see what the Lord has actually done in my life since that time. 

Songs remind me of the Lord's faithfulness. 

Today I pulled out several of my favorite old cds and popped them in my car. As I drove and listened to those songs, I made a conscious effort to think back on the memories they sparked. Doing this reminded me of all the Lord has done for me. 

He has given me a hope.

He has determined my steps.

He has worked for my good.

He has proven trustworthy.

He has provided for me. 

He has blessed me.

He has taught me.

He has disciplined me.

He has changed me.

He has shaped me.

He has given me more than I could have imagined.

He has determined my portion.

He has acted on my behalf.

He has loved me.

He has never forsaken me.

He has conformed me to his image.

He has changed my heart.

He has made me more than a conqueror.

He has been my portion.

The Lord has done so much for me and in thinking back on certain times in my life, I can see how faithful my Jesus really is. 

I look forward to listening to the songs of my current interest and thinking back to this moment in my life.  In that, I am certain I will see the same anthem...faithfulness. It is Jesus' nature. He cannot deny his own faithfulness because it is who he is.  I am thankful that he allows me to see him as that, a faithful father. 

Try it.

Dig for those cds and tapes and let your memory go. 

Thank Jesus for all he has been!

See You in the Sky!

We had a great fourth of July weekend! We ventured out of town with our good friends, Bradey and Tiffney, who have a 15 month old little girl, Adi. They invited us to Bradey's home town which is the epitomy of 'small town Texas'.  In my mind, small town holidays equate to softball, food, swimming, freindly faces, fun and fireworks, it was great! His parents were out of town so we had the house, hanger and pool to ourselves all weekend. 

The late-night drive was quite an adventure...we did not pull out of the McDonalds parking lot (I love the iced coffee) unil 10:15pm and so it wasn't long before all three kids were sleeping. And it wasn't long after that before one would wake, waking another and so on and so on. Kayt got the sleeping award for the night because she was the only one who didn't wake up in the back and forth battle between Noah and Adi. It sprinkled on and off while we drove until we were about an hour outside of Rotan and then the floodgate sprung open and it poured. I mean POURED! We couldn't see the road, the two lane highway had no lights and no cars were in sight. It felt like a scene from a scary movie and I was waiting for a fake police officer to pull us over and chop our arms off! Or something like that.

When we finally arived at the house at end of the long gravel road, our sweet crazy friends realized they had left the house key on their kitchen table. No fear, Bradey's mom had left a spare by the pool. Bradey got the spare key, went in the front door, opened the garage and came out to start unloading kids. When we tried to open the door going into the house from the garage, it was locked. The door had locked behind him and the spare key was laying inside. He had locked the front door behind him so we were, once again, locked out of the house. We were standing outside in the pouring rain with three screaming kids, in the pitch black, in the middle of nowhere with no way into the house. Have I mentioned that it was almost 3 am? Bradey finally crawled in some box that took him into the fireplace and let us into the house. Aparently the crawlspace was nasty and bug infested, but I was just thrilled to be inside!

By this point, the kids were all wide awake so we were handing out snacks, exploring and playing with toys at 3:30 in the morning. It was wild! 

The kids and I slept in until almost 11 the next morning while the boys won their first softball game. 

Noah loved the taking the golf carts to look at the airplane, see the fish in the pond and drive up and down the runway. This first picture makes me laugh. Tiffney had a coke sitting in the cup holder and Noah LOVES Coke. While I was talking he stuck his little finger into her drink to taste it and then he couldn't resist, he dipped his entire hand into the Coke and is letting it drip onto his tongue. Mmmm, it's the real thing!

Isn't Adi precious? She is the funniest little girl, her expressions make me laugh so hard and I love her red hair.

And speaking of precious girls, I think this one is mighty cute!  

Clapping,


Crawling, & Waving, her favorite past times.

Bradey and Adi playing with fire.

Our sleeping beauty couldn't stay up late enough to experience her first fireworks, so it was just the three of us!
 

Noah liked the fireworks pretty well. He would call out the colors and yell "Oh Dang!" when a really neat one came. Everyone laughed when he would yell out and so then he put on a show. He started singing happy birthday to Dang, over and over. He was quite the little comedian. A few times he said, "I want to go inside now, I don't yike this," but then another firework would go off and he would be enthralled again. The fireworks show in this small town was spectacular and long; it lasted over 45 minutes.

Noah wouldn't take any pictures with his sister on the 4th so the best I could do was sneak a few in the next morning. Gold Fish in the pool, only fitting.

Country fun!

Isn't this cute?!.

Noah wanted to take this picutre. He said "take a picture of that flower and I'll tell that flower to say cheese!"  I think it's smiling, don't you?

And the super cool big airplane. When we left Noah wanted to go see the airplane one last time. He told the airplane "Bye-bye airplane. See ya in the sky!"

We had a great weekend and loved spending time with our friends. I was quite impressed with Rotan, Texas and all it had to offer. 

Since we've been home we have been going and going, which is no surpise. I've been workin on a few projects and needed touch-ups around the house, which is a surprise.  

p.s. Happy Birthday to my brother, Blake! We love you!!!

Todd, Noah & Blake

    Christmas 07'

4th of July

       Happy Independence Day!

 

                                Noah 2007

Suds Up

I will be the first to tell you that I am no Susy-Homemaker. In fact, I love the cleaners, keep the bakeries in business and would hire a housekeeper if our finances permitted. But due to a few factors, I have made recent efforts to change my ways of thinking and my factors of convenience. 

When I went to college at Texas Tech, I had never done a single load of laundry. Saying I was a bit spoiled and sheltered would be an understatement.  

My roommate (who had also never done laundry) and I were quite a site the first time our laundry baskets runeth over.  We wore the same underwear for a few days weeks and then decided it was time to dive into this scary world of l.a.u.n.d.r.y.  

Her mom had been kind enough to make 3x5 note cards that told what color clothes to wash together, the type of cycle setting and water temperature to use with each load. We laid all of the note cards around the room and then began to take each garment one by one and find it's corresponding card.  

And then, and then, and then there were the daunting machines. We were lost in the big basement of washing machines trying to figure out how to actually use them without flooding our dorm.  Let's just say that I will show my children this small necessity before sending them off to fend for themselves! 

Recently I posted about my efforts to cut cost and go green here.  At the end, I posted a recipe for home made laundry soap.  I was really excited to try the cost-cutting recipe and so I searched the town over looking for Washing Soda but never had any luck. The only place I could find it was on the internet. I debated about ordering it because after adding shipping to the cost, I would not be saving as much money.  I had finally decided to place an order and then Amy brought me a sample of the laundry soap she had made using the same recipe but replacing the Washing Soda with Baking Soda. The internet research I have found points out the differences between the two (basically saying Washing Soda consumes two equivalents of acid while Baking Soda consumes one...simply put; Washing Soda is stronger), but I decided to cancel my order for Washing Soda and first try the recipe using Baking Soda. 

I've been very pleased with the soap and it cost me a small amount. All of the items cost me less than $6 and this will make at least 6 batches of detergent. 

The entire process took me less than 15 minutes and was super easy. 

I am using this recipe.

Supplies Needed: Borax, Washing/Baking Soda, 1 bar of soap your choice (I used Dove Sensitive because 1. I love Dove,  2. I thought the sensitive would be mild on my kids skin and 3. I had it!

Heat 4 cups of water to a boil 

While the water is heating grate your bar of soap. You can also use a knife to cut it into small pieces, but grating it was easy and fast.

After the water is boiling reduce the heat to low and as it is simmering, add small handfuls of the soap. Stir the water and soap. As it dissolves, add more soap until all is dissolved.

Fill a large container with 3 gallons of warm water (or 48 cups for you non-mathmaticians). 

To the warm water add: 1 cup of Washing/Baking Soda, 1/2 cup Borax (This is optional. It makes the soap stronger. I like it.), and the soapy water mixture. 

Mix thoroughly, cover and let the solution set for 24 hours.

The color and consistency will vary depending on your soap choice and water. My detergent is a liquid and white, but any consistency will work. 

Use 1 cup of laundry soap per load.

I've kept an old laundry scoop for using with the liquid. 

If I tell you something is easy, you can guarantee it really is easy. This was simple, works great and is very cost efficient. The math on the recipe I used shows that if done 6 times one will save over $70. I can think of many other things to do with $70 other than buying laundry detergent!

If you can find Washing Soda, I would suggest using that and if you do please pass along where you found it. 

Are you going to try it?

Dive in, clothes and all.  Because you never know, you may come out a bit cleaner (and richer).