Give the Ice Cream

Noah and I were laying down together this afternoon and he wanted me to tell him stories about when I was a little girl. I had to put my thinking cap on to come up with adventurous childhood stories. I've never big a big risk taker. Cautious, controlled, wise... these words have always been more true of me. 

One hot, summer day my brothers and I spent the hours riding in the back of our red mini-van running errands. I was eight years old and my mom came through with the most brilliant idea of the summer: ice cream! We rarely had treats like this when I was young; for much of my childhood money was tight.  This was a welcomed, rare treat and mom was most excited. My brothers and I had our ice cream cones in hand and we headed out the door of Baskin Robbins feeling proud. As we pulled into the driveway of our home my brothers, like all brothers, began wrestling around and my middle brother dropped his ice cream cone on the pavement. It was as good as gone and he was devastated. My mom walked around the car and handed her ice cream cone to my brother.  She wasn't angry or annoyed, she merely gave up her ice cream. I can remember feeling an overwhelming sadness for my mom because I knew that she wanted the ice cream. But more than anything, she wanted my brother to be happy. It was a moment that I learned about motherhood. 

I have thought of this silly story several times since I've had children. Chances are that my mom does not even remember it, but I do. There are days that I want to give my kids the world. Giving them the last bite, the only drink, the ice cream cone isn't hard. Then there are other days that I really want to eat my cookie, yet I have four eyes begging for the last bites. In those times, the words give the ice cream, run through my mind. Being a mother is a selfless act. It is giving fully of yourself to the little people you love most, yet it is fully knowing who you are and not getting lost in the identity of your children. Like all of life, it's a balance. 

It is finding joy in giving the ice cream.

That hot summer day, my mother taught me a lesson. She taught me that love is an action and when you love someone you give things up to see them smile and to take away the tears. When you love others, you will give the ice cream. And that will bring your more joy than eating the ice cream. Even if it is mint chocolate chip!